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2022-23 LMAO Seminar Summaries
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June 1, 2023
Homework:
Think Ahead
What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 10 minutes. Questions to consider:
- What have you been thinking about for the past month?
- How has family systems thinking influenced your relationships?
- What or where is there cut-off in your family or work system?
Learn About Emotional Cutoff:
- Read Kathleen Smith blog post: 25 Ways We Use Distance to Manage Anxiety & When You’re Too Close to the Problem
- Listen to Family Systems Institute faculty members Lily Mailler and Jenny Brown engage with Questions about generational transmission and cut-off from family of origin. (~31min)
- Read the two part series, Emotional Cutoff and Bridging It: A Conversation Part 1 & Part 2. In this discussion Katherine Kott interviewed Laura Havstad about the concept of emotional cutoff in Bowen theory
- Review Family of Origin. Consider exploring how Emotional Cutoff has influenced your family?
Schedule for Morning:
- Check-In
- Questions & Reflection
- Discussion of Emotional Cutoff
- Case Presentation on Cutoff or Individual Emotional Cutoff examples? If interested contact Tim.
- Plans to work on Family Systems over the summer...
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May 4, 2023
Focus: Sibling Position
Homework:
Think Ahead:
- Monthly Check-In (you'll have about 10 minutes): What's making you anxious this month? What keeps this issue so serious? How would your parents advise you to manage your anxiety? How might the theory help you to reflect on these issues?
- Consider In your family of origin & nuclear family: What is your sibling position? What is the sibling position of your parents? Can you identify emotional reactions and behaviors that are characteristic of your sibling position?
Read, Watch, Review:
- Review: the concept of Sibling Position from the Bowen Center.
- Review: Why Do Siblings Often Turn Out Very Differently? by Michael E. Kerr.
- Read Birth order may not shape personality after all and the traditional understanding, Birth Order: How your position in the family can influence your personality.
Schedule for the Morning 8:30 a.m. to ~12 noon:
- Check In
- Questions & Reflection on the past month
- Sibling Position Discussion
- Guess What Sibling Position game
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March 30, 2023
Focus: Multigenerational Transmission Process
Homework:
Think Ahead:
- Monthly Check-In (you'll have about 10 minutes): What's making you anxious this month? What keeps this issue so serious? How would your parents advise you to manage your anxiety? How might the theory help you to reflect on these issues?
- Consider In your family of origin & nuclear family: Can you identify conscious teaching and learning of things that made family members anxious? Can you identify automatic and unconscious programming of emotional reactions and behaviors?
Read, Watch, Review:
- Review: the concept of Multigenerational Transmission Process from the Bowen Center. Multigenerational Transmission Process equates to family patterns repeating through generations. Specific roles and triangles reappear. Consider: the scapegoat/superstar sibling dyad, depression, substance abuse, or a “big secret”. Any family dynamic is subject to being reenacted.
- Review: Multigenerational Transmission Process by Ken Crowford. How to think about and diagram Multigenerational Transmission Process.
- Watch: Trust & Legacy (29 minutes). An interview with business consultant and Bowen Center faculty member, Kathleen K. Wiseman who consults with family members who have to decide how to transfer and share assets from one generation to the next. The discussion is really about how a generation defines is values and passes them on to the next generation.
- Case presentations focused on an issue in your family of origin related to Multigenerational Transmission Process will be considered.
Schedule for the Morning 8:30 a.m. to ~12 noon:
- Check In
- Questions & Reflection on the past month
- Pop Quiz on the 8 concepts
- Multigenerational Transmission Process Discussion
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March 2, 2023
Focus: Family Projection Process
Think Ahead:
What do you wish to share with the group during check-in? You'll have about 15 minutes.
- What family systems work have you been doing in the last month?
- What are you thinking about?
- What's making you anxious?
- Where do you see projection happening in your family? In your congregation?
Read, Watch & Review:
- Watch & Read: Family Projection Process: Parents as Leaders (7 min)
- Read: Bullies, Worries – Mindsets and the Family Projection Process
- Read: We Don't Need Your Help...But Please Fix Our Children
Consider:
- Watch: Life at the Helm: What Does the Leader See (And Not See) 90 minute lecture and discussion. We won't address this directly in the seminar but it's an interesting lecture and excellent review of the theory for leaders.
- Submitting a Case Presentation that has you stumped (doc & pdf). How could you use playfulness to as a way to reduce your anxiety in this situation?
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February 2, 2023
Focus: Paradox & Playfulness
Homework:
Think ahead:
What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 15 minutes.
- What do you do that's playful?
- What keeps work so serious?
- What about your work or home situation is funny?
Read/Review
- Read blog entry entitled: PlayBook: Generation to Generation
- Read blog entry entitled: The wisdom of play A little playfulness can go a long way
- Read: No Laughing Matter a Counseling Today feature by Kathleen Smith
- Watch: Leading with Laughter: The Power of Humor in Leadership In this TEDx Talk Paul Osincup talks about his idea for using laughter to building stronger leaders. Where do you see BFST in this talk?
Assignments:
- Make a list of the most outrageous comments people have shared with you in the last year and email them to Tim. We'll play with them at the LMAO Seminar.
- Think of an anxious situation when when you were too serious. Be prepared to share the short story.
Consider:
- Rabbi Ed Friedman said, “Playfulness can get you out of a rut more successfully than seriousness.” This morning we’ll discuss “playfulness” as a way to foster “non-anxious environments.”
- Submitting a Case Presentation that has you stumped (doc & pdf). How could you use playfulness to as a way to reduce your anxiety in this situation?
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January 5, 2023
Nuclear Family Emotional Process
Homework:
Think ahead:
What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 15 minutes.
- How do you see the nuclear family emotional process occurring in your family?
- How did it function in your family of origin?
- How does this concept function in the church?
Read/Review
- Review the Nuclear Family Emotional Process concept from the Bowen Center.
- Read The Dark Side of Adaptation by Kathleen Smith
- Read Fundamentals of Family Therapy course on Nuclear Family Emotional Process (just 5 pages)
- Watch, 23 minute presentation on Nuclear Family Emotional Process from Atlantic International University Open Course on the Fundamentals of Family Theory Course (session 6).
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Homework:
Think ahead:
What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 15 minutes.
- How are you preparing for family gatherings during the holidays?
- What about your family makes you curious?
- What questions will you ask?
- What does it mean to be differentiated?
- How do we become differentiated?
- What does differentiation look like?
Read/Review- Read: Leadership Through Self-Differentiation
- Read: The Core of a True Leader
Watch this video about Differentiated Leadership.
- Consider Peter Steinke’s chart about Differentiated Leadership.
Consider:
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November 3, 2022
Homework:
Submit:
- If you haven't paid for the seminar please send your check to Tim at the address on the invoice you were sent.
Think ahead:
What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 15 minutes.
- What have you been thinking about for the past month?
- How has family systems thinking influenced your relationships?
- What's the most difficult triangle for you to manage now?
Read/Review:
- The difference between triangles and triangulation: Family systems theory for church leaders
- Triangles: The “Glue” of Bowen Family Systems Theory.
Consider: -
October 6, 2022
Theory Introduction & Review
Homework:
Submit:
- Please fill-out and submit a LMAO Seminar Participant Form via email to Tim@exec-clergyconsulting.com.
Think ahead:
- What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 20 minutes (we will take a little longer this month since it's our first time together this season).
- Tell us about: yourself, your job & your job challenges, your family & your family challenges, and your experience with Family Systems Theory.
- What brought you to this seminar?
- What are your hopes and expectations?
Read/Review:
- Watch: Understanding Bowen Theory (~10 minutes)
- Read this article from the Atlantic Monthly 1988 written by Michael E. Kerr: Chronic Anxiety & Defining a Self
- If it's your first time reviewing this article, what idea was most new to you?
- If you've read this article before, what did you see new this time through?
Review Bowen Family Systems Theory. Consider buying five books:
- One Family's Story: A Primer on Bowen Theory
- Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue
- Friedman's Fables
- A Family Genogram Workbook
- Everything Isn't Terrible
Schedule for the Morning:
- Check-In
- Review Seminar Procedures
- Questions
- Define & Review Family Systems Theory
- Afternoon Assignments
- Review of Case Presentations (doc & pdf)
- Review of Family of Origin Presentations
