Homework:

Think Ahead

• What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 10 minutes. What have you been thinking about for the past month? How has family systems thinking influenced your relationships?

Learn About Emotional Cutoff: 

• Read Andrea Schara blog post: #5 Emotional Cutoff
• Read Katherine Kott interview of Laura Havstad about bridging  emotional cutoff in two blog entries  - Part 1 & Part 2
  
• Watch 28 minute video of Dr. Kathleen Smith interview Dr. Anne McKnight about Cutoff in Family Relationships

Review 

• Family of Origin. Consider exploring how Emotional Cutoff has influenced your family? 

Follow-Up Links:

Charles Trittin

    Spiritual Guide ~ Life Coach

    Self + Soul + Spirit + Systems

    charlestrittin@gmail.com

    651-307-2897

Inside-Out Spirituality Presentation

Homework:

Think Ahead:

• What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 15 minutes. What have you been thinking about for the past month? How has family systems thinking influenced your relationships?

Read, Listen, Watch or Review:

• Read:  Differentiation of self and spirituality: empirical explorations.
• Read:  Multigenerational Transmission Process from the Bowen Center.
  
• Watch: Three Steps to Differentiating One's Self (Murray Bowen 4 minutes)
  

• Watch: Differentiation as Life's Journey (28 minutes) Dr. Mariana Martinez talks about thinking of differentiation as a developmental process from birth onwards. She shares thoughts about how parents can promote differentiation in themselves to benefit their children.

Follow-up Links:

An Interview with the First Family Counselor can be found in The Myth of the Shiksa and Other Essays.  It's the first essay in the book pp. 3-31. This chapter can be found online here. 

There are two YouTube videos by Kathleen Cauley, a faculty member of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.  Her passion is the study of human/pet interactions.

• Pets in the Family (released 4 years ago)
  
• Pets in the Family (Part 2) (released ~1 year ago)
  
• Pets, Families, and Society (released about 5 years ago)

Kathleen Cauley is also doing a presentation entitled Both Ends of the Leash: Canine Aging at the next Spring Conference on Aging at the Bowen Center.

Here are a few links for the Oblique Strategies "card-based method for promoting creativity" we discussed. Use it when you're stuck.

• Oblique Strategies, wikipedia entry.
• Oblique Strategies Google App.
• Oblique Strategies SE iPhone App.

Homework:

Think ahead:

• You'll have about 10 minutes. What are you thinking about? What keeps work so serious? Where are you taking responsibility that's not yours to take? Can you predict where the next effort at sabotage will come from?  Where is your sense of humor?  Share a joke with everyone.

Read, Watch, & Review:

• Read: No Laughing Matter a Counseling Today feature by Kathleen Smith
  
• Read:  Laughter is the Best Medicine Where do you see BFST in this article?
• Consider this Playful Project: Nine Practical Action Tips to Help You Facilitate Your Play Behavior
• Watch: Leading with Laughter: The Power of Humor in Leadership In this TEDx Talk Paul Osincup talks about his idea for using laughter to building stronger leaders.  Where do you see BFST in this talk?

Assignments: 

• Make a list of the most outrageous comments people have shared with you in the last year and email them to Tim.  We'll play with them at the LMAO Seminar.
• Think of an anxious situation when when you were too serious.  Be prepared to share the short story.

Schedule for the Morning 8:30-12 noon

• Check-In
• Questions & Reflection on the last month
• How does one keep a lightness of being?
• How do you use humor, playfulness, and fun to counter seriousness?

Follow-Up Links from the Discussion with Dr. Kathleen Smith:

• Everything Isn't Terrible 30 Day Anxiety Journal an accompaniment to the book by Kathleen Smith
• Kathleen Smith Email
• Kathleen Smith Blog
• The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal by Kathleen Smith
• When CHAOS Comes to Town: Making Sense of Family Life in Challenging Times video interview with Amie Post, MA, LCMFT

Homework:

Think:

What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In?  You'll have about 10 minutes.  How did Dr. Kathleen Smith's book help you, "Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally alm Down?"

Read:

• Everything Isn't Terrible:  Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down
• If you've read the book above consider reading some of Dr. Kathleen Smith's blog entries.

Homework:

Think:

What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 10 minutes. What have you been thinking about for the past month?

Read/Watch:

Read:

• #4 Family Projection Process from Your Mindful Compass Blog
  
• Understanding Your Siblings by Kathleen Smith
• Murray Bowen’s Insights into Family Dynamics a Highlighted article about general Bowen theory from Family Therapy: An Overview, by Goldenberg and Goldenberg (1990)

Watch:

• The Family Projection Process by Bowen (~5 minutes)
• Child Abuse and Family Emotional Process (29 minutes) A fascinating discussion with Dr. Walter Smith who has an interest in applying Bowen theory to family violence, child abuse and organizational functioning

Consider for Your Own Insight:

Projection follows three steps:

• (1) the parent focuses on a child out of fear that something is wrong with the child;
• (2) the parent interprets the child’s behavior as confirming the fear; and
• (3) the parent treats the child as if something is really wrong with child.
• Can you see this happening in your family of origin or your nuclear family?
• How will you manage this anxiety?

February Notice!:  

• Dr Kathleen Smith will be joining our seminar in February so continue reading  Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down

Schedule for the Day:

• Check-In
• Review: Nuclear Family Emotional Process
• Questions?
• Discuss:
• Case Presentation?

Homework:

Think: 

What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 10 minutes. What have you been thinking about for the past month? 

Read/Watch: 

Read: 

• Bowen Center Summary of Nuclear Family Emotional Process
• Questions One Might Ask Related to: Nuclear Family Emotional Process.

Watch: 

• Adaptive Relationship Patterns in the Nuclear Family by Bowen (~3 minutes)
•  Parents Focused on “Fixing” Kids (29 minutes)

Consider for Your Own Insight:  

• Can you identify the four basic relationship patterns in your family of origin?
• Where do you see these patterns at work in your family tree as you go back a generation or two?
• Which pattern was most common in your nuclear family?
• Which pattern is most common in your family of origin?

Schedule for the Day:

• Check-In
• Review: Nuclear Family Emotional Process
• Questions?
• Discuss:
• Case Presentation?

Homework:

Think ahead:

What do you wish to share with the group during Check-In. You'll have about 10 minutes. What have you been thinking about this past month?  What new/renewed insights has your reflection on Family Systems Theory brought you? What are the triangles that your in that are the most difficult to figure out?

Read/Watch:

Read:  The seven blog posts by Israel Galindo, beginning with the video entitled "Back to basics: The Triangle"  begin with 1 and read all seven, (each is less than a page, at the top right of each post you can click to go to the next).  These reflections come from his book, Perspectives on Congregational Leadership: Applying Systems Theory for Effective Leadership.  If you find these reflections helpful, buy the book!  For your reference:  7 Laws of an Emotional Triangle.

Watch:  Relationship Triangles.   In this 29 minute video, host Dr. Mariana Martinez interviews leadership teacher, executive coach, and Bowen Center faculty member, Stanley Proffitt. 

Schedule for the Morning:

• Check-In
• Questions:  What are the relationship triangles that are most challenging to you?
  
• Review  Back to basics: The Triangle blog posts 1-7.
• Comments on the Relationship Triangles Video.
• Review of Case Presentations (doc & pdf)
  
• Review of Family of Origin Presentations